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Confession
How ridiculous I feel, posting this here. Anyway, it's eating me alive, so I guess, for now, this is my best forum for coming clean. Over the past year or so, I've developed a deep, almost suffocating, crush on my younger sister-in-law. When I say "younger", I don't mean cradle-robbing. She's in her late twenties and has established herself as a professional woman. Quite an accomplishment, considering where she began and where she could have easily ended up. I think, in part, it's been her metamorphosis from irresponsible early twenties to her stalwart professionalism that initially made me sit up and take notice. I take more than a bit of personal pride knowing that it was, in a small part, my influence, advice, and assistance that helped her to become the woman that she's becoming. From the very start, I've tried to assist her in any way possible. She and my wife grew up in a very "loose" environment. There was never a dad around, and my mother-in-law, bless her heart, is simply ill-equipped to lend any suitable guidance to even herself, let alone her children. I've been married to her sister for several years, and we have a happy, healthy marriage. I love my wife, dearly even though our marriage isn't without its challenges. What relationship is, after all? Anyway, as I get to know my sister-in-law more and more, my feelings for her grow stronger and stronger. I'm not merely talking about sexual desire. She possesses almost everything I like in a woman, even more so than my wife. For starters, she's an optimist. Optimism is something that her sister sorely lacks. What's more, she's even more beautiful, and that's quite a mouthful, considering the fact that my wife is extremely attractive. Whenever I see her, I'm refreshed by her enthusiasm, her grasp on life, the moment, the positives, the humor. God, I love humor. For the longest time, I dismissed any and all notions that I had as "silly" and "situational", that is, until recently. Of late, I've "sensed" some bit of mutual attraction, admiration might be a better word. I believe that she's attracted to me and in more of a way than simply a replacement for the absentee father-figure in her life. Maybe I am silly, and maybe this is all part of some strange imaginary scenario that I've subconsciously crafted to fill some void in my psychosis. Whatever the case, it's a condition that is growing within me. Quite honestly, when she's around, I can't seem to take my eyes off of her. I want to be close to her, if even only in silent admiration. I love having her around, and want so much to take care of her, and to see her smile. I know that this is an impossible situation, and I have no intentions of pursuing it. I guess I just really needed to express it, even if only to a bunch of ethereal strangers on an anonymous forum. All that I can say for sure is that it literally breaks my heart to say goodbye to her each and every time. I always want her to stay just a bit longer. Sorry for prattling on, and forgive me for the spread of the "boredom" plague. Thanks for your time. -Alexander, 38


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