I Love Spandex Shorts

I think spandex shorts are the best thing ever. I have a rather large package; quite impressive, I might add. I'll slip on a pair of spandex shorts with no underwear or jock strap. Just me and my stuff. I especially like to put my wares on display when there are women around. It literally sends them into orbit when they see me in these shorts. I stay totally enhanced while wearing them. I love spandex shorts; I really do.

— Matt, 25