No Show

My girlfriend and I were supposed to get married when I suddenly had a change of heart. Since she has turned into an absolutely obnoxious human being, I decide not to show up for the wedding. I just left town and moved away ... about fifteen hundred miles away. I have plenty of money, so this is something I have been planning for quite some time. Hope this resulted in chaos and mayhem for her ... she deserves it ... she really does.

— Milton, 24