Quite The Pickle

I'm afraid this story isn't pretty. My daughter's friend started growing up and just looked too nice. So, one night when she was spending the night, I went to her and inserted myself into her. She awoke and smiled. We were always very close. Then I realized it probably wasn't a good idea. She was only nineteen at the time and I ended it. Since then, she keeps begging me to do it again. I'm frightened my wife will find out. I've gotten myself in a right pickle!

— Clark, 54