Either Crazy Or A Sex Machine

I have a strong curiosity in a couple of categories, so I'm either crazy or way ahead of the crowd. Even though I'm a fifty-year-old male, I find myself attracted to very young women. Not in a perverted way. I didn't have great outcomes from the relationships I had with the beautiful girls I dated in high school. They were drop-dead gorgeous. So, it kind of feels like my emotions are stuck back at that age, still wanting to make relationships with girls at that age work. Can anyone relate to that? I'm definitely stuck. I won't ever take the first step on something like this, but if I were ever seduced, I'd be "All In". Also, I have another twist in that I find myself wanting to give a man oral sex and wanting him to do the same to me. I find myself thinking about what it would taste like, what it would feel like, and more. Only, I find myself thinking about not just any man, only the kind you see in body building magazines who have awesome bodies. Just like with the young women....only the best. I have a fantasy of having a man like that seduce me, and that we then give each other oral sex. Teenage girls and major buff men. What am I to do with all of this? It further combines with a fantasy about being with bi-women. I'm all over the map. I also have a fantasy about giving oral sex to three men either all at the same time or one after another. I have never done anything about any of this. I certainly could never tell my wife about any of this. I feel pretty confused. I make a huge amount of money now having my own business and a Porsche is on the horizon, so that part of life finally feels fulfilled. I go and buy a bottle of expensive champagne and, after my wife goes to sleep, I sit in my hot spa. After a few drinks, I let my guard down and start thinking about all these things. Maybe eventually I'll get up enough nerve to experiment or act on some of these things to either get them out of my system or something more.

— Clyde, 50