Multiply By Five

For the past three years, I have been pestering Angie, my wife of twenty-two years, to date other men. I told her what a turn on for me it would be. She finally agreed and went out last night. She didn't come home until late this morning. I asked her how her date went and she replied, "Take our best time together and multiply by three." Then she added, "If you're asking about the sex, multiply by five!" She's been sleeping all day.

— Tom, 47