Remember Your Little Friends

One summer a number of years ago, I developed a temporary inflammation of unknown origin in one of my testicles. My testicle swelled to approximately twice its normal size. And although I was never in any great pain, I could always feel a mild throbbing sensation. All day long, no matter what I did, no matter who else was around, no matter what was going on, I could always feel it. I felt it when I got up in the morning and when I went to sleep at night. I felt it conversing with supervisors and coworkers, friends and enemies, young women and old women, attractive women and unattractive women, etc. As you can probably imagine, after a day or so of this I was about as horny as I could possibly be. Since casual acquaintances weren't always sympathetic to my need for intimacy, semen eruptions, spontaneous and otherwise, were inevitable. I must have sprayed in just about every conceivable place four or five times a day during that period. After a few days, the problem subsided and things got back to normal, but I never will forget that summer.

— Jeremy, 56