Where Life Is Not As Complicated

I am outraged about the behavior in adult bookstores, especially the one next door to me. No one in the neighborhood can get the city to close it down. So, one day, I went inside the bookstore's preview booth. I locked the door behind me and waited for other patrons at adjoining booths to stick their things through the glory hole. Being prepared, I had a camcorder and a black light marker. Then, while taking video's of the glory holes, I marked their packages with the black light marker. While I was doing this, my wife was writing down license plate numbers in the bookstore's parking lot. About six or seven thingies later, the police came in and questioned me and my wife. We explained the entire situation to them, and they were very understanding. They said they were taking us somewhere where life is not as complicated. Seven days later, we got released and filed for mental disability. That's not all. We now get to live in a group home far from any adult bookstores.

— Gary, 40