He Knows His Stuff

Early this morning, my wife called her office to say she was taking her sick day today. She shoveled so much snow yesterday that her lower back was hurting badly/. Mine hurts as well, but since I work from home, I decided to turn on my computer as she rested. Just before noon, someone rang the bell. It was her boss bringing a hot soup for the two of us. I showed him the way to our bedroom and told him Liz was there. I grabbed my soup and went down to basement to continue working. Half an hour later, I went up to see how she was doing. She was so in pain that she had asked Dan to give her a lower back massage. She looked so relieved I asked him to give me a piece of the same chocolate. He asked me to lie face-down beside my wife. Then he pulled up my sweatshirt and began gently but firmly massaging my lower back. When I showed signs of relief, he moved a little lower to my upper buttocks and continued massaging. At that point, I never though he was going to slide his hand underneath to reach my package that was excited already. It was so surprising. I felt like taking a nap and fell asleep. I don't know how much time later my wife woke me up and told me, "Dan knows his stuff, doesn't he?

— Ian, 42