Long Lasting Crush

In 1967, I came home on leave from the Navy in preparation for my next assignment. While I was home, still in uniform, I walked down 2 blocks to where my best friend lived to say hi to his family. They considered me part of the family since we had known each other since we were tykes. As I approached his house, his younger sister Erin, who was 14 at the time, saw me and started running towards me, squealing with delight. She jumped into my arms and hugged me with all her might, saying how happy she was to see me. Well, needless to say, if she had been older, she would have seen something else. A very noticeable bulge where there should NOT have been one. Wearing Navy whites, it's extremely difficult to hide something like that. I was embarrassed and angry with myself at the same time. After, all she was 14 and I was 18. It was totally inappropriate to think such a thing. Then, 4 years later, I was discharged. And not thinking anything about that incident, I got married (big mistake). Later on, so did Erin. Now that I am 55 and long since divorced (and she too), I have found out through my best friend that Erin has had a "crush" on me for years, and still does. I would like to follow up on that with Erin herself, but I cannot shake off the embarrassment and anger at myself that I felt so long ago. I do admit that during the course of the years, I had thought of what it would be like to make love to her. But, my mind still travels back to when she was 14. I have thought about confessing the whole story to her, but I don't know how to breach the subject or how she would take it. Maybe she DID notice something after all.

— Jason, 55