Ordinary Male And Panty Femme

Rule out the total fiction category. You have to be born this way, so can't "try" it. Think of a totally ordinary looking, boring sort of guy. I'm not gay. I've always loved women and have had good male-female relationships. Some of my girlfriends knew everything; some didn't. But I've always been sort of a woman myself, more feminine than most women, as a second side. I've worn panties, bras, garter belts, everything tight and silky, since forever. I've always shaved my legs (which are long and just made for nylons), worn teensy short shorts with nylons and have worn all sorts of beautiful costumes wherever I could get away with it or where I could disguise it. It's not a game or a transvestite fantasy. I live in a place where all or any sexuality is accepted, but I've never met anyone like me. I've tried everything. I was very turned on by being treated like a girl. I've even done some modeling. I loved the situation, but I'm just not attracted to men. I did find I liked posing in beautiful lingerie for much older men, but don't know why. There is no family history to give even a clue. If anything, I feel like a "male lesbian". Go figure. Sometimes I've gotten along very well with women who don't usually even speak with men. The downside is a deep inner loneliness. I seem to want to BE the beautiful woman rather than to be the male beside her. I am revolted by men's big, baggy shorts, and I haven't owned cotton underwear for most of my life; just pretty nylon panties. There's no lilt in my voice, and the gay guys don't know I'm there. I feel like a different sex from a different planet. It's like being both the very average/ordinary father AND his sexy, adolescent, Lolita-like daughter at the same time! I like being who I am, but it's been a lifelong fantasy, and not an easy one, just to be me. The fun has been very, very exciting while the sense of aloneness has been huge. I am now late middle-aged.

— Tyler, 55