I Am Gay

If the truth be told, I have always been gay, even when I did not know what gay was. I liked girls as a child, but they were just people who happened not to be guys. I dated casually in high school. It was what you were supposed to do. But I liked looking at guys. I was fifteen when I first showered in a locker room. What a sight, all these naked guys. Still, I wasn't gay. My senior year in high school I was working after school with another guy I only knew on sight. We got to talking about our packages or something along that line. Rick talked about oral sex and how back in Texas he and some friends had swapped it. I can't remember just how it happened, but we were under the bleachers in the gym and he had his pants open. I gave him oral until he finished. This was my first and, until thirty years later, my last gay sex. I've talked with gay guys in the last three years and had three of them in my home. The first was a bust. We never got out of our clothes. That was for the best because he was way too young I learned. The second was a little better, if you call an early morning before work quickie good. Really it was not. Don't get the wrong idea, I am not going to have oral sex with the next guy I see. You will have to spark something in me and not be looking for a fast blow and go. A long term relationship is not required, but on-going friendship is.

— Lance, 51