Five Secrets Women Keep

You may think you know all the ins and outs of your best girl, but no matter how much your sweetie shares with you, there are still a few secrets she's hiding.

Allow us to reveal...

We let you fix stuff.

Frankly, I don't know a single woman who can't fix a clogged toilet or tell the difference between a flat and Phillips head screwdriver. But if it makes you happy to play Mr. Fixit, who are we to stop you? Besides, it can be fun rewarding our big, strong man for a job well done.

We get hit on more than you realize.

Your paranoid fears are valid. When we go out without you - or even when you're just in the bathroom - we regularly get approached by some lecherous Lethario wanting to buy us drinks. We'd never dream of taking them up on their offers, so we don't see reason to set free your possessive streak by telling you.

We've already decided if you're marriage-material or not.

While women aren't actively shopping for a Stepford husband, most of us do want to get married someday. And anyone who's been dating for more than a few years has learned to determine a man's potential as husband and father early in the game.

Chances are, if we're still together, you're looking pretty good, but, naturally we can't tell you that for fear you'll careen out of our lives with nary an "I'm-not-ready-for-a-serious-relationship." Or maybe we just want a fling, but don't want you to think we're cheap. Or we're just riding it out until we're sure you're not The One and don't want you to know you're being scrutinized.

We don't have all the relationship answers.

Yes, we watch Oprah, spend hours psycho-analyzing you with our girlfriends, and love to throw out that therapy lingo in our discussions with you. We like you to think we know exactly what you're doing wrong in our romance (and it is usually your fault, isn't it?), but here's a thought. If we knew this stuff, wouldn't we no longer need to do it? The whole women's magazine industry continues to thrive just because we still haven't figured you boys out.

We've done at least one thing we really would rather you not know about.

It could be an infidelity, a past personal problem, or a family secret. Whatever the skeleton, the closet is under lock and key. I'd tell you more, but then I'd have to kill you.

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Try These Pickup Lines

  • I'm not drunk. You intoxicate me.
  • I bought this rose to show it how beautiful you are.
  • Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
  • At the laundromat, "How much bleach should I put in with my good suit?"
  • I lost my virginity--can I have yours?