4 Ways to Turn Your Fantasies Into Reality

Ever notice the disconnect between the sex you have in your head and the sex you're having in real life?

Sometimes it's a good thing. After all, what makes a fantasy so great is that you can control it. Take it in the directions you want, and when things get sticky, make it go away completely. You can't do that with a real person, or real memories.

Which is why when you're having satisfying, if vanilla, sex and you think about mentioning that crazy fantasy you have involving a cabana boy and coconut oil, you blush and think, "I can't do that."

How to take your sexy daydreams from head to bed? Start here.

Examine Your Head

Fantasies don't always involve two people. Your solo-sex time provides fertile ground to develop the scenes, scenarios, and ideas that turn you on, since you're less likely to censor your thoughts and feelings. Pay attention to recurring triggers you can try out for real later.

Scale Down

If you're already feeling nervous about letting your lover in on your dirtiest thoughts, maybe you don't want to start by suggesting something requiring electrical cords, exotic foodstuff, and numerous costume changes. The trick to trying out your wildest fantasies is to first make them, well, a little less wild. Instead of focusing on a specific scenario, think about what the emotional trigger is that gets you so hot. Is it voyeurism? Force? Anonymity? You can pin your partner's arms above his or her head tonight and work up to the fuzzy handcuffs.

Talk It Over

Who says you actually have to act out your fantasies anyway? Just because you're not acting on your desires doesn't mean you have to banish them from your boudoir completely. Books, videos, or even just talking about it is often sexier - not to mention safer and less stressful - than actually picking up that lonely trucker for a threesome, or having sex on your boss' desk.

Emergency Exit

If your partner is a little shy about shunning convention, it's probably driven by a fear that things will get freaky and out of control. Make it clear that if things get uncomfortable, you'll both call it quits. And for heaven's sake, if your sweetie does say stop, be cool about it. Keeping it low key will make it easier to try again later.

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