Can You Rebound From the Pull-Back?
When you're dating a woman and it seems to be going well, what happens when you hit that comfort zone? You know...she starts calling more often and expecting you to be involved in every aspect of her life. She has decided that you're - wait for it! - in a "relationship."
Recognize Tell-Tale Signs
How do you determine that she has attached the "relationship" label to your dating situation?
- She contacts you more frequently than you contact her.
- She calls just to tell you about her day.
- She seeks your advice about major purchases, like buying a car.
- She consults with you before making weekend and holiday plans.
Examine Your Response
When it's clear that she views your dating situation as a relationship, you need to think about how that makes you feel.
- Do you feel comfortably happy?
- Do you feel confused and a bit uncomfortable?
- Do you feel trapped and unable to stand the expectations any longer?
Identify Your Knee-Jerk Reaction
When you understand that, like it or not, you're in a relationship, how do you respond?
- Do you become more comfortable with her, calling her pet names?
- Are you mentally making plans that include her for the next few weeks or holidays?
- Do you start thinking about all the things that she does that annoy you?
- Are you feeling smothered by her involvement in all aspects of your life?
- Are you focusing on her quirks and wondering if you'll be able to tolerate them for one more day?
Analyze Your Options
Depending on how you're feeling about the relationship, you'll need to decide how to communicate those emotions to your girl.
- Do you distance yourself from her, calling less frequently, and making fewer plans that involve her?
- Do you tell her that your life is complicated and stressful right now, and you just need some time to deal with things?
- Do you simply cut off all contact with her because you need some space?
Expect Her Next Move
When you pull back, your girl knows it. She might deny it to herself, but she senses that new distance between you. And like it or not, she will respond with an effort to make things go her way.
- Is she calling, texting and dropping by to bring you unexpected surprises?
- Is she tempting you with tickets to the big game?
- Is she asking you to come to family gatherings?
- Is she filling your calendar with events that you must attend as a couple?
Contemplate Your Desire
When you succeed in making her recognize that you need some space, use that down time to think about how you really feel about her. We all have a tendency to pull back at times when we feel threatened by someone else's expectations. Don't let that natural reaction get in the way if you think there's potential with this woman. Give yourself a chance to recognize your expectations or fears, and move beyond them by reaching out for a satisfying relationship. Don't give up...unless you're sure you really want to.
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