The Logistics of a Break-Up

Ending a relationship is rarely easy. Even when it's your idea, it can really stress your sanity. Here, we answer your most-asked questions about how split up with your sweetie. It won't make your break-up any more fun, but it can at least help keep you from going crazy.

Is it the right time?

This is kind of like that "how do I know I'm in love" question. You just know. But, if you're still unsure, look for the signs. If you haven't had sex in weeks, and you both act like it's okay, it's over. If you know he or she hates something you do, and you do it anyway just to be annoying, it's over. If the police have been over more than once to break up a fight, it's definitely over.

What should I say my reason is?

You're going to need an explanation, because this will be the first question your soon-to-be ex will ask you. Make it simple, like the classic "It's just not working" or "I just don't feel that way about you anymore". This is really no time for brutal honesty or long explanations. It's just cruel.

How important is timing?

Take a look at how your ex-to-be's life. If you're breaking up because he or she is a lying, cheating good for nothing or if you really feel endangered in the relationship, don't worry about this. But if it's an ordinary lackluster relationship you want to bail from and he or she has just lost a job, been evicted, or had a death in the family, sticking with it until he or she is on solid ground won't hurt you and could give you some good karma in your next relationship.

What if my new ex changes?

It will take resolve, but don't fall for the ruse if your new ex suddenly becomes the very person you wanted them to be - showering you with gifts, suggesting romantic weekends, and offering foot rubs. This is only a temporary ploy to win you back; you'll eventually have the same problems you always did. Keep the gifts, but be firm.

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