To Hell With Whispering Sweet Nothings: Talk Dirty

In the mid 1980s, the glam band Poison reached the top of the charts with "Talk Dirty to Me." While 80s music and clothing may be out of fashion, the message from that song isn't. Talking dirty will propel your sex life into a higher realm of eroticism. It's a turn-on like no other. The problem is that most people are afraid of sounding foolish. Trust us - any efforts you make to talk dirty will be greatly appreciated. Here are some tips.

Don't worry about getting your mouth washed out with soap: If you're going to talk dirty, do it right. Use all the words for sex and body parts that you learned in high school. Shout out all the slang you've learned in movies. All those hip-hop CDs you own will finally come in handy. This is your chance to talk like a rapper.

Give a running commentary: Talking dirty can be as easy as whispering (or shouting) exactly what you are feeling and seeing. Tell your lover exactly what he or she looks like. Explain exactly how his or her body feels against yours. Compliment any move your lover makes that feels great. Be a cheerleader - keep your praise short and sweet. Just shouting "Harder" can be enough.

Fantasize: Talk out your fantasies. Saying them is the second best thing to actually doing them. Have you always wanted to tie up your lover? If so, let him or her know. Voice your lover's fantasies as well. If you know your partner has always imagined having sex in public, explain what that would be like.

There's an art to talking dirty, but it's much easier than writing haiku. Brace yourself. Your sex life is about to reach a new level.

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Try These Pickup Lines

  • I'd better get a library card, because I'm checking you out
  • I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
  • I would rob a bank just to have lunch with you.
  • You remind me of a doorknob on a freezing day. If I put my tongue on you, it's not coming off.
  • Would you like to play a game of hide the penis?