Let's Talk About Sex
When it comes to sex, we expect to be instant experts. We presume we're instilled with some kind of instinctive knowledge of what will please our partners and ourselves.
But, as you've probably figured out after that first awkward romp in the sack with someone new, we all respond differently to sex. And unless you're psychic, the only way to get to know your lover's tastes - and for your partner to figure out yours - is to communicate.
Whether you've been together a night or a decade, these tips for talking about sex are sure to enhance your relationship, both in and out of bed.
Coital Communiqué #1: Let 'Em Know Your Likes and Dislikes
Just plain talking about sex is pretty darn sexy. But talking about things you like or would like to try can be even hotter. Don't be held back by embarrassment or a fear of rejection. If you can find a way to casually bring it up - point out something that excites you in a movie or a magazine - chances are you'll be surprised by how much your partner may want to experiment.
Coital Communiqué #2: Praise Good Behavior
When your partner pulls the right trigger, don't be shy about piling on the praise. Make sure your sweetie knows he or she is on the right track, and you're bound to see a repeat performance. If your lover hasn't done anything worth praising lately, try a false compliment - the kind that starts with "I love it when you...."
Coital Communiqué #3: Give Good Mouth
So you're the ballsy type and just want to sit your lover down for a little lovemaking heart-to-heart? Good for you! Just remember that we're all a little sensitive when it comes to our skills in the sack, so keep things positive (e.g., "It feels so good when you..." as opposed to, "I hate when..."). That said, be honest...there's no point in faking something you like, giving your partner no incentive or guidance to do better.
Coital Communiqué #4: Don't Forget Nonverbal Cues
If you're uneasy about vocally expressing your desires in bed, take a hands-on approach. When your lover's roaming hands manage to miss your hottest spots, take those fingers and put them exactly where you want them to be. If you're still not getting exactly what you want, be prepared to give it up first. If you want a gentle caress, a nibble here or there or a passionate kiss, give your lover one first. Ask if that feels good, and when you get the nod, request that your partner try it out on you.
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