When Do You Share the Love

When your relationship progresses to that certain point, you start thinking about saying those scary words "I love you." When should you say it? Who should say it first? How will she know you really mean it? How will you know if she really means it? All these questions run through your head, and hers, you hope.

Who Goes First?
Her girlfriends will say you should say it first. Your guy friends will say she should say it first. Who goes first in actually speaking the words really depends on the particular relationship. More important than who says it is the timing.

Time It Right
If you're tempted to say those three big words, think long and hard about it. Does she show you that she loves you? We're not talking about lust and nookie, here - does she listen to you with caring in her eyes? show respect for your time and activities? want to know more about your friends and family? The love should be evident before one of you says the words. If you're not sure, wait. After those words are out there in the middle of the relationship, there's no going back.

Mismatch Moves
If you've said the words, her response is vitally important. If she says she really likes you but is not ready to say the words, you're on a little bit of shaky ground but you can recover. Tell her you understand and don't want to rush her, but you just want her to know how you feel about her. Don't bring it up again unless she does. But continue to show her how you feel without words.

Honest Agreement?
If she says she loves you too, but the words sound false or mumbled coming out of her mouth, beware. She may be saying it back simply to avoid hurting your feelings. Again, actions carry more weight than words. Does she look at you like she loves you? or does she seem like she wants to get away from the conversation as fast as possible? This conversation is nerve wracking for everyone, but body language will tell you a great deal about her feelings.

Mutual Mush
If she enthusiastically responds, "I love you too!" then you're golden. Revel in the mutual attraction and share the love. You'll both be breathing a big sigh of relief that the deeper feelings are mutual. Now you can relax a bit and know that the relationship will likely move forward. But don't get too comfy - she still needs to see the love in your actions, not just your words. If you want those feelings to continue to flow and grow, you've got to continue to treat each other with tender, loving care. Enjoy it!

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