Rules of the Rebound

Has it been only a short time since you and your previous sweetie broke up, but now you're diving into a new relationship? If so, keep in mind some of the rules of the rebound relationship. You don't want to repeat your past mistakes, do you?

Attract an Opposite
As you turn your attention away from the past and toward the future, make a concerted effort not to date someone who's too similar to your previous girlfriend. Of course, lots of guys have a certain physical type that sparks their interest. Nothing wrong with that. But just remember to look for some differences too when you're searching for your new love interest. If it didn't work out before, what makes you think the same type of girl will float your boat this time? Seek a sweetie who has some refreshing qualities to bring to the relationship.

Learn From the Past
Even though you don't want to dwell on your mistakes, you probably should consider what they were. You can't rewrite your personal history, but you can do better in the future. Were you too possessive? Too emotionally unavailable? Too critical? Too self-centered? Think about your less-than-perfect contributions to your previous relationship. Then think about how you might revise your behavior so that you find flow this time instead of swimming upstream.

Stay in the Present
As you continue to detach yourself from your old girlfriend, it's natural to make comparisons between her and your new sweetheart. But beware! You definitely want to keep those thoughts to yourself. Your new girlfriend is likely to come out on the positive side, but still. . . . Rather than saying, "You cook so much better than she did," say something like "Wow! This is delicious! I'm glad you're such a great cook." She doesn't really want to hear anything about your ex, especially not how she broke your heart or how she made you breakfast in bed. Compliment your new love and save your complaints about your ex for your buddies. (But, get real - they don't really want to hear about her anymore either!)

As you move forward with this new relationship, keep in mind the potential for making the most of a rebound opportunity. Ultimately, you're working to turn what began as a negative situation into a positive one by relying on your confidence, skill, experience and instincts. With the right girl, you can learn from the past and build a bright future.

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