Quitter's Remorse: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
You know it's over, but you feel like an ogre. When you share something special and you call it off, it hurts that you're hurting the one you loved.
But that doesn't change your feelings or your desire to be done. However, there are some helpful strategies you can follow for steering clear of the post-breakup debris.
Wreckage Rule #1: Don't trash your ex.
No matter how much you're ready to be done with the relationship, show respect for what you had and don't talk trash about your former lover. Dissing your ex-darling will only make you look bad. Even if it's true. Be the better person and move on.
Wreckage Rule #2: Keep your distance.
It's much harder to make the break when you keep seeing each other at parties and clubs. Try to stay away from your old hangouts for a while. Giving both of you breathing room will allow your ex to heal and you to avoid feeling like such a heel.
Wreckage Rule #3: Avoid self-flagellation.
When you hear that your ex is holed up in the house and avoiding friends at all costs, try not to blame yourself. Unless you deserve it. If you cheated, then take responsibility and figure out how not to do that again. If you simply changed your mind, then square your shoulders and move forward. It's better for both of you to be with someone who's a marvelous match rather than a so-so sweetheart.
Wreckage Rule #4: Don't do more damage.
No matter how lonely you get, don't make the late-night phone call or send the I miss you text. When you hook up after a breakup, you're only asking for a morning-after headache. You broke up for a reason, and you don't want to have to do it all over again.
Wreckage Rule #5: Don't flaunt your freedom.
We've all had that feeling of elation that comes from making a break from a bad relationship. You're sooo happy to be free that you can't help but celebrate. Just dial it down a bit on social media. Don't post pics of you with a crazy hot new friend of the opposite sex until the word is out about your breakup. Give it a few weeks before you broadcast your astounding rebound.
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