Preconsummation Exploration

You've met the gal. You've got the urge to consummate the relationship. Why should you wait? Depending on your goal, maybe you should and maybe you shouldn't. If all you want is some nookie and a bit of fun, then go right ahead. If you want a meaningful relationship, then maybe you should explore how you define meaningful first and whether she fits that definition. Think about what will make your hookup go the distance or fall flat.

Fly or Fail Factor #1: Similarities
Before you get too close, find out what you have in common. A strong desire to do the dirty deed doesn't count. Do you have a similar level of education? If not, is that a problem? Do you have shared professional interests and goals? Do you both like to golf? Spend your free time at museums? Thrive on solving crossword puzzles? Look for shared activities and interests that can sustain you after the sexual tension has dissipated.

Fly or Fail Factor #2: Differences
Besides common interests, think about where you differ. Maybe you're a flaming liberal and she's ultraconservative politically. Maybe one of you is an avid churchgoer and the other doesn't believe in organized religion. Will you be able to have calm discussions about religion or politics, or will you have to avoid all talk on the subject, even among friends? Passion in bed is one thing, but an unending passionate diatribe during dinner could be a show stopper. Besides those stereotypical biggies, no doubt you have your own quirky views about what's important. If her values are extremely different, consider that before you get more involved.

Fly or Fail Factor #3: Family and Friends
What do you know about her close friends and family? Social styles among friends can differ greatly. Do they go to expensive restaurants and drink only the best wine? Are they avid NASCAR followers? Will you fit in? Do you care? Also find out about how she gets along with family members - in terms of how she handles relationships in general and how easily her family will accept you as part of her life.

Fly or Fail Factor #4: Respect
OK, we all know the adage that dudes want to sleep with any woman, any time. And there's an element of truth to that. But if you want more than one night of nookie, you'd better make sure she respects who you are and how you do things. Does she appreciate what you do for a living? Does she listen when you talk and seem to admire you? Or does she make snide remarks about your appearance or interests? Is she thoughtful in the way she treats you? Or is she only interested in what you've done for her lately?

Fly or Fail Factor #5: Fun
OK, last but definitely not least - is she fun? Do you genuinely want to hang out with her? Pleasurable partnerships under the covers are one thing, but do you find her as amusing fully clothed? Every relationship is going to have its ups and downs, so you'd better enjoy the ride beyond the bedroom!

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Try These Pickup Lines

  • I will gladly marry you next Tuesday if we can have the honeymoon tonight.
  • I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
  • I didn't know that Miss America lived here!
  • Baby, you remind me of a parking ticket because you have "fine" written all over your face.
  • My friend wants to know if you were born in those jeans.