Sharing Isn't Always Generous
When you and your sweetie start becoming closer, you begin to feel more comfortable sharing those embarrassing aspects of your personality and personal history. Like the time you ripped your pants dancing in high school and didn't know it. Or that goofy photo of you and your friends at a Halloween party. That's fine, but there are some things you don't need - or want - to share to be intimately involved.
It's natural for your new girlfriend to ask why you broke up with your ex. Your answer should be somewhat vague, however. "We drifted apart" or "I just didn't feel close to her anymore" are acceptable responses. "I'm still in love with her even though she made me feel inadequate in bed and crushed my heart" is not so smart to share with your new sweetie. In response, her thought might be, "why bother getting involved if he's still in deep?"
Be careful with photos of you and your ex. Some girlfriends will freak out if you keep them at all. Some will freak out if you hang them on the wall. If you do keep the photos, they should not be displayed publicly in your home. You can make an exception for your children's mother. If your kids will be staying in the house with you, keeping a family photo that includes your ex is understandable. However, respect your sweetheart's feelings by keeping those photos out of the regular living areas and in the kids' bedrooms.
Before you share specifics of past relationships, think long and hard. Do you really want to know how many men your girlfriend slept with in the past? When you're on vacation, do you want to imagine her staying in the same hotel years ago with Javier, the hot baseball stud? Do you want to hear how she made it on the beach with Brody, her first? Well, she really doesn't want to hear these details about your playful past either. So keep those fond memories to yourself and make new ones with your current sweetie.
Being open with your girlfriend is an admirable goal. But before spilling your secrets, think about how you would feel if the roles were reversed. In this case, less usually means more for the relationship. So remember - if you want to keep locking lips with your current hottie, zip those lips and focus on what's special about the relationship you have here and now.
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