Why Aren't You Feeling the Spark?

Sometimes you meet a woman who's got great potential - pretty, smart, funny - but you just aren't feeling the connection. Why is that? Are you overlooking something in your search for instant gratification? Is it your self-destructive impulse to be attracted to the girl who's wrong for you?

Let's explore what's going on when . . . nothing's going on.

Mind vs. Heart Mismatch
You can say over and over that you want a girl who's got X (whatever X means to you). But then even when she's got it, you might find she still doesn't have that other X factor that you subconsciously want. What your mind wants and what your body craves can be two very different things. When you find that intelligent woman who's in great physical shape and financially independent, you still might not feel the attraction.

Playing Games
You say you don't want game playing or drama. But maybe you really do desire a little bit of the chase. Is she too good for your subliminal expectations? If a woman is straightforward with you about what she wants - to date you - and doesn't play hard to get, sometimes that can be a bit boring. You might find yourself more attracted to a woman who isn't so easy to catch.

Cooking Up Chemistry
Then, of course, there's that unknown element that can't be predicted or controlled - it's called chemistry. You know it when you feel it, but you don't understand it. Maybe it's some elemental scent she has that draws you in. Maybe it's that thrill when your eyes lock on each other. Maybe it's the electric shock you feel when your hands touch. You two either have it or you don't.

That irresistible element can make no sense sometimes. You don't know why the woman who takes you for granted has it, and the one who adores you just doesn't ignite that spark. There's no sense hoping it will develop if it's clearly not there. Just accept that chemistry is unpredictable, and embrace it when you find that irresistible attraction.

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Try These Pickup Lines

  • Hey, babe. Nice tooth.
  • Touch her on the sleeve and ask, "Is this cotton?" Then touch her breast and ask, "Is this felt?"
  • When I got shocked by your appearance, my hair wasn't the only thing that went up.
  • Just like Jerry Maguire, you had me at hello.
  • Wanna play doctor? Shall we go through a thorough exam or head straight to malpractice?