Is She Leading You On?
Here's an interesting scenario for you.... You meet a woman who's beautiful, interesting, and confident. She seems to have it all. You knock yourself out to show her how you feel about her and capture her attention.
She keeps saying yes when you ask her out. You're surprised but pleased. You keep showering her with attention and doing nice things for her. She lets you.
But...and here's the big but...every time you try to get closer, she literally or figuratively pushes you away. She keeps her distance, coming across as warm but slightly detached from you.
Does this sound familiar? If so, here are a few clues as to what's happening in your love life, or lack thereof.
Stop the Nice Guy Routine
Do your friends tell you you're too nice? When you meet a girl you like, do you give her your undivided attention? Buy her drinks? Call her the next day and every day thereafter and text several times a day? Does she act interested but seem a bit too busy? Do you ask when you are going to see her again and wait for her to find time for you? Is she vague about future plans?
It's Not All About Her
Back it up, dude! You need to make some changes if you really like this girl. Remember - it's not all about her. You have to get what you want too, or all your efforts are wasted. Do you pay for everything when you go out together? Do you let her pick the movie and the restaurant with no input from you? That's fine for the first few dates, but if you continue, she'll see you as a doormat or look right through you.
If you want this special girl to pay more attention to you, you need to be more assertive. Treat her special but let her know it's a two-way street. When she thanks you for dinner - and she'd better, or she's way too high maintenance! - say something like, "It's my pleasure! I'll let you treat me next time. If you want to cook for me, I'll tell you my favorite foods." Wink at her and then just sit back and smile. You'll get her thinking. Your dates shouldn't be only about you serving her needs all the time. If you don't show her who you are and what you want, it's never going to be a relationship.
Give Her a Challenge
A woman definitely wants you to make an effort to capture her attention. But she also will respond to a bit of a challenge herself. Don't look at it as playing games. Look at it as setting the stage for a two-way relationship. She wants a man who acts like a man, not like her lap dog. Tell her that you're busy sometimes when she wants to go out. And be busy! Make plans with your buddies. Get or stay involved in other activities that you find fun. She needs to know that she has to work to maintain your attention too.
If your dream woman loses interest when you express some expectations about getting as well as giving in the relationship, then you're better off letting her get lost. Then you can get on with your life and give your attention to a more worthy woman.
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