Get Me Out of Here! How to Exit 4 Common Hookups

If you're appearing one-night-only in someone's bed, it's crucially important that you know how to disappear from there gracefully. You never know when your temporary passion partner will pop back up in your life - as your new coworker, best friend's date, or as an angry person, bent on revenge, holding something that looks like it could be used as a weapon.

What you need is a refined exit strategy. And we've got one for you.

Sex Exit #1: Escape From the Social Group Hookup

If you run in the same crowd, not only can you be certain you'll cross paths again, but you can be sure that news of any wrong moves will get around. You need to escape with your rep intact if you want any hope of dipping back into this particular dating pool. So before you say "so long," make sure you've left your lover satisfied (after all, good news - particularly of the "sexual genius" kind - travels fast, too). And when you do reach the door, resist the temptation to make promises you won't keep. Instead mention the next time you might run into each other. Casually.

Sex Exit #2: Escape From the Coworker Hookup

Had a little too much fun at the office holiday party? Don't even think about bolting without a goodbye. Be ambiguous until you can tell what your coworker's expectations are (Forget it ever happened? Sue you for sexual harassment? Get involved?). A simple, "Thanks for the fun evening, I had a good time" will do the job. Then follow up with a detached email addressing the event and that you'll keep it under wraps. Then cross your fingers and hope for the best.

Sex Exit #3: Escape From the Fix-Up Hookup

This one's tricky because you need to avoid disappointing your matchmakers - and make sure they're still eager to line you up with other potential partners. Honesty is the best policy in this scenario - any outrageous get-me-outta-here lies (that you're moving to Uzbekistan) will be fact-checked with your friends and found out. Then, because you're both going to have to report to your matchmakers, you'd better get your stories straight. Will you both be admitting to the hookup or downplaying the drama?

Sex Exit #4: Escape From the Ex-Sex Hookup

In the post-coital glow, you realized breaking up was the best decision you've ever made - and your ex now thinks you're back together. Gaah! To keep your moment of weakness from turning into months of relationship hell, address the issue immediately with something along the lines of, "That was probably not a good idea for us." And don't bother rehashing your break-up speech; any debate over why you broke up will only lead to whether you should get back together. Apologize, then get the hell outta there.

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Try These Pickup Lines

  • Wow, a rose on a stick! And I'm just a thorn . . . Do you realize we're beautiful together?
  • Drop the zero and get with a hero, baby.
  • Are you single, too? Or just beautiful?
  • I'm not a music teacher, but I can make you sing like a choir.
  • Can I lick that film off your teeth?