Harmless Flirting or Real Interest?

Admit it! You really love flirting with the woman who satisfies your caffeine fix every morning at the local coffee shop, don't you? She makes you feel special, and somehow sexier, right? The only problem is, how can you tell if it's harmless flirting or real interest?

Watch for Signs
Whether it's a service person you interact with regularly or a colleague at work who's causing your flirting confusion, help is within reach. Surreptitiously watch your flirty friend in action, and see how she interacts with others in the same situation. For example, does your coffee barista employ sexy banter with the customers before or after you? Or is her smile extra big and body language extra sexy when you step into line? She might even seem a little extra nervous when you're around - that's a good sign too so long as she's nervous with a smile instead of nervous with that uncomfortable turning away posture.

Feel Your Way
If you think you might be the special target of her flirtiness, feel out her level of interest by asking some leading questions. For example, "Got any big plans for the weekend?" Or, "Do you drink anything besides coffee? I'm thinking you might enjoy a glass of this great wine I've discovered." If the response seems professional-friendly, keep your interaction that way. If, however, she perks up and shows special interest in your conversation, give her a few more openings to confirm how she's responding. "My weekend plans are dry right now too. Maybe we should team up and find something interesting to do?"

Take a Chance
If she seems to be open to your forays into dating territory, try a soft invite. "There's a wine tasting Thursday afternoon after work. How would you like to try something new?" Or "The riverfront festival has lots of great music scheduled for this weekend. Do you have any interest in hearing a local band?"

Step Forward or Back
If she draws back and makes clear that she's not interested in dating, try your best to act nonchalant and return to the previous level of flirty banter or retreat to just professional friendliness. If, however, she says yes and agrees to meet you, then assume it's a casual first date and treat her likewise. You've got your first yes, so use your date to show her why you deserve a bunch of positive responses from here on out. The bottom line is: You never know unless you try, right?

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Try These Pickup Lines

  • I don't know if you are beautiful or not; I haven't gotten past your eyes yet.
  • My last name is "Visa," because I'm everywhere you want to be!
  • I just bet that gentleman over there $25,000 dollars that you would have dinner with me in Paris tomorrow.
  • Baby, you make me melt like an M & M in your mouth.
  • You're not that ugly.