Dating Your Ex's Friend

When you're dating a girl, she wants you to like her friends, and vice versa. But what happens when the mutual admiration for her friend goes beyond liking and into attraction? It's not an uncommon occurrence.

When you hang out with a crowd of people, you're bound to have similar interests. So when the passion fades with your girlfriend and you find yourself wanting to be with her best friend instead, it's not that surprising. But if you really want to date your sweetheart's friend instead, you'll have to tread carefully.

Girlfriend Flip-Flop Move #1
The breakup must come first.
Tell your girlfriend why it's not working between you, but leave out all details of your attraction to her friend. Try your best for an amicable split because her close friend is going to hear all the gory details. If you're going to have a shot at flip-flopping girlfriends, you'll need to end it with kindness and try your best to remain friends - really!

Girlfriend Flip-Flop Move #2
Give your ex some time and space.
Let her have time to cool off and come to terms with the breakup before making any move on her friend. Try to be friendly with both of them, but keep your distance. Don't get into another filler relationship, or the girlfriend-to-be will just see you as a player. Be patient.

Girlfriend Flip-Flop Move #3
Start as friends.
When the waiting period is over, find ways to be around your target girlfriend with a group of mutual friends (ideally minus your ex-girlfriend). Help your potential girl see what a great guy you are despite the breakup with her friend. And beware - never trash talk your ex in front of the girl you want to date.

Girlfriend Flip-Flop Move #4
Act independently.
Don't alert your ex-girlfriend about your intention to date her friend. Definitely don't ask her permission. If you do, she might just ask her friend not to date you out of respect for her feelings. Then your target girl is faced with a dilemma - lose a friend or lose a potential boyfriend. In this situation, you're most likely to wind up the loser.

Girlfriend Flip-Flop Move #5
Go to separate corners.
If your first moves work, and your ex's friend agrees to go out with you. Try to have as many dates as possible away from the crowd of friends you share with your ex. The awkwardness of hanging out with girl #2 in front of girl #1 would put a strain on any new relationship. You and your new date will bond better if you can get to know each other away from the uncomfortable spotlight of the ex's eyes. Then when the relationship has more of a base, you can mingle with the mutual friends more easily.

If you can make new friends but keep the old, you just might be able to pull off the girlfriend flip-flop. Ask around - it's amazing how many married couples mention that they used to date their spouse's friend. Not that you're thinking marriage, but still . . . the flip-flop can seriously pay off for some couples.

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