If You Fake It, You Won't Make It
When you're getting to know a woman with dating potential, you're searching for mutual connections. Naturally, that spark of chemistry is important. But so is having some shared interests. Be careful, however, that you don't manufacture common ground. You could have to walk on that path for a long time, and you want it to be solid. Here are some tips for uncommon success.
Don't Pretend to Like What She Likes
If she loves to go to art galleries, don't offer a false "Me too!" just to get a date. She'll see through your false front quickly, and it will hurt, not help, your chances with her. Instead, ask her to explain what she likes about particular paintings, if she's an artist too and what it takes to develop that creative flair. You'll charm her by showing openness rather than exaggerating your knowledge.
Don't Hide Your Own Interests
If you love playing tennis, and she could care less, don't play down your interest. Show and tell her why you're jazzed about it. Then if she's still not interested, let it go. Continue to play without her because that is who you are. Remember, taking time to pursue separate interests can strengthen a relationship.
Don't Act More Cultured, or Less
If you're worried that your lack of knowledge about wines will hurt your chances with her, ask her questions and read up. Naturally, don't claim to know more than you do. But if you're interested in learning more, ask her for advice. Likewise, don't hide your knowledge of architecture because she might feel intimidated. If it's your passion, find a way to share your insights. Because if she isn't attracted to the real you, it's hopeless anyway.
Sometimes it's good to move outside your comfort zone. If she really likes white water rafting, and you can handle the challenge, tell her you'd love to try it. If she cooks obscure vegetarian dishes, acknowledge that you love red meat but that you're willing to sample new tastes. Make sure she knows the kind of foods you like too - even if it's a Reuben sandwich or steak and potatoes. She should be willing to explore some of your likes as well.
Remember, if faking it is the only way to make it with her, you need to step off. You don't have to read all the same authors or watch the same TV shows. Just be open to exploring new interests that excite her. You want to be comfortable spending time with this great new woman, or else she's not so great after all.
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