Why Do So Many Exes Return with Xs and Os?

You remember it like it was yesterday. When things went south with your relationship, your ex took a quick exit and made a fast getaway. Why now, months or years later, are you hearing from this former flame? Usually, it's because the fiery passion you felt is still simmering in your one-time sweetie's deepest imagination.

When you're in the midst of relationship hassles, it's oh so easy to run away. But the heat that simmered between you is not so easily forgotten.

The Pull of Passion
Often, the passion that drew you together keeps your ex-sweetheart yearning to reconnect. But reconnecting has different meanings to different people. For some, it means throwing the breaker that will once again send high voltage between you when you touch. It's like an invisible wire that has always been there and just needed to be reconnected to the terminal.

Ties That Bind
The yearning for that lost passion can feel irresistible. You talk, you touch, and bam! You heat up faster than a gas burner on high. But once you come together again, the reasons that it didn't work out often become quickly obvious. The chill also sets in quickly. At that point, reconnecting becomes associated with being tied down.

Saying I'm Sorry
In other situations, reconnecting means sharing some insights that come with time. In hindsight, you might see how you both handled things in a less than admirable manner. You might feel the need to apologize and express appreciation for your lost love. That kind of reconnection can be comforting and healing. But it doesn't provide a reason to stay together long term.

Seeing Clearly
In a few rare situations, you both truly regret losing sight of what drew you together spiritually and physically. You want to express what went wrong and how you've changed. You want to share who you are now, and why things could work out so much better this time. If you feel that your former sweetheart is the one, then you just might find that you've learned enough in the meantime to link up in a lasting way that is truly heartwarming.

Setting a New Course
In such an unusual case, you might be able to see the past and future with clarity. You can see how you two went astray before your breakup. You can also see a different path that leads to an exciting journey together with a better sense of direction. If that's the situation, then your reconnection must stem from valuable self-reflection and strong affection.

If your ex inspires a never-ending string of “Ohs,” then you must be on the right track. When that happens, you'd be crazy not to reignite the fire, fan the flames and bask in the glow.

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