Don't Scare Her Away

So you're not like other guys, right? When you see a woman you desire, you want to let her know. You dive right in...deep.

But you really should test the waters first. If you go too deep too fast, she'll be swimming for shore faster than you can say “shark attack.”

Maybe you really do know when your feelings are strong. In that case, expressing your interest is great. But that doesn't mean asking her to spend every spare minute with you. That definitely doesn't mean telling her on the second date that she's the one you want to marry someday.

Daring, Not Desperation
Expressing emotion is good. Expressing neediness is bad.

When you come on too strong and try to envelope her in your life too soon, you could be making a mistake you'll regret.

Yes, there's a danger you'll scare her away. Even if there's obvious chemistry between you, she needs time to get to know you and see if you're really compatible. If you're all over her from the beginning, then that's all she can think about. She doesn't want to give you the wrong impression, so she backs away. She also doesn't want a needy guy on her hands.

She wants a guy who wants her, but not so fast. If you move in at lightning speed, it's a sign that you're desperate. That's the opposite of what she's looking for in a man. A confident guy who wants her more after getting to know her is ultimately more attractive than a guy who's sending her love notes after one week. That's a sign that you want someone, anyone, not necessarily her.

Doing a Back Flip
The other danger is that she responds to your over-the-top overtures and she dives all in too. What if you start getting to know each other better and you realize you may not be so enamored of your inamorata after all? Can you then back off and take things slow? Not a chance! If you're already all in, then you're either in or you're out.

Your deep dive into the relationship pool early on makes it difficult to come to the surface and tread water later. If you back off emotionally, it's just going to get ugly.

So next time, express your interest and attraction, but don't mount an overwhelming onslaught to win her over. The best approach is gradual and authentic. Get to know her truly...not your image of her as the one you've been waiting for. Wait for your feelings to grow and hers to show.

Then your expressions of emotion will help you secure the right catch.

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Try These Pickup Lines

  • Hershey factories make millions of kisses a day, but I'm asking for only one.
  • If I pet you, would you follow me home?
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  • Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl in This Room," and the grand prize is a night with me!
  • Just like Jerry Maguire, you had me at hello.