5 Little Ways to Stay in Love
In an ideal world, every moment of your relationship would play like a scene out of a love story. Here in the real world, not so much. It's too easy to let the hum-drum everydayness of reality get in the way of being gushy.
That doesn't mean your love has to suffer. Try these tiny tips for lasting romance.
Little Love Change #1: Watch What You Say - and How You Say It
Critical language hits harder - and has a more lasting impact - than do compliments. According to a University of Washington study, those tiny acts of thoughtfulness (even just smiling and listening attentively) predict a relationship's long-term success. So curb the harsh comments and make sure you're showing - and telling - thanks for all you appreciate.
Little Love Change #2: Just Do It
Not in the mood? Do it anyway. Many times arousal comes before desire. Even if you don't think you're interested, you'll often enjoy yourself if you just get started. You'll make your partner happy and - bonus! - the more sex you have, the more sex you'll want.
Little Love Change #3: Pay Back
We all want to feel valued and cared for in our relationships. But for that to happen we have to be able to recognize the appreciation. To you, changing the car's oil or doing the laundry might say "I care about you," but it only works if your partner notices. Get to know what your lover really wants - Does she need you to say it? Does he want you to show it via that one hot move you do in the sack? - and pay them back with the right currency.
Little Love Change #4: Play
While getting serious is, well, serious business, an expanding body of research shows that playful couples have tighter unions. From your first date, really getting each other's sense of humor helped you forge a closer connection. Later on, that laughter will diffuse tension and keep your problems in perspective. Besides, if you're not having fun, what's the point?
Little Love Change #5: Fight Fair
It's not whether or not you fight - because you will - it's how you do it. Do either of you resort to down-and-dirty fighting tactics (getting defensive, name-calling, etc.)? Do you catch yourself rolling your eyes at him or smirking at something she said? When you're superclose it's easy to know exactly what buttons to push, but condescending to each other shows a basic lack of respect that will undermine your union.
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