Twas a Myth before Christmas
"The Night Before Christmas"
Written in 1998
Twas a myth before Christmas, when all through the planets
Not a deity was stirring, not even Hephaestus
Silk stockings were hung on the chimney with care, In hope that Aphrodite would soon appear
Ares and Dionysus were both snug in their beds,
While visions of goddesses danced in their heads
Hera in her kerchief and Zeus in his cap,
Had just settled down for a nice winters nap
When down from the earth there rose such a clatter, Zeus sprang from his bed to see what was the matter
Away to his window he flew in a flash,
Tore open the shutters and broke the pane glass
The moon on the planet was as bright as the snow, It gave him a glimpse of an object below
When what to his wondering eyes should he glimpse,
But an image of Artemis and her eight tiny nymphs
With eyes of anger so heated to vent,
He knew this meant trouble for the gift he had not sent
More rapid than steeds her coursers they came,
She whistled and shouted, and called them name
Now Daphnie, now Dani, now Pransi and Vissen,
On Comish, on Cupish on Donish and Blissen
To the top of the planet and away from earths ball,
Now crash away, slash away, thrash away all
As dry heaves that before a wild case of hives,
When she meets with her father, he was destined to die
They went up to the roof with cursors they flew,
With a sleigh full of arrows and Artemis too
And then in a tingle Zeus heard on his roof,
The scratching and clawing of each little shrew
As Zeus drew back his head and was turning around,
Down the chimney they came making a hell of a sound
She was dressed all in green from her head to her foot,
And her clothes were all tarnished with dirty black soot
A grubby old bag she had flung on her back,
And she looked like a thief determined to pack
Her eyes how they twinkled her dimples how merry,
Her cheeks were like roses, her nose like a cherry
Her droll little mouth was drawn tight as a bow,
And the sheep of her grin was as cold as the snow
A stump little knife she held tight in her teeth,
And the leaves that encircled her head like a wreath
She had a slender face and a little round below,
That shook when she walked, dropping men in a row
She was shapely and slender, such jolly young stuff,
Zeus blushed when he saw her in spite of himself
With a wink of her eye and a twist of her head,
Soon gave Zeus to know he had nothing to dread
She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work, Snatching down stockings, then turned with a smirk
And laying one finger aside of her nose,
And giving a nod up the chimney they rose
She sprang to her sleigh to her posse gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the quick of a hustle
But Zeus heard her exclaim as she flew in a splinter,
Thanks for the gifts and Ill see you next winter.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
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