Walk Away

To walk away from the person you love is really hard! And easier said than done!! But howcome it's even harder to walk away from the person you love if they out you through hell??!! I use to look down on all of that mess. Ya kno the cheating, lieng and jealousy. I use to think you kno your stupid to stay with someone that hurts you or makes you feel like your worthless! So when it happened to me I couldn't believe that I was talking bad about myself and other people who probably had it worse than I did!! Yes, I went through all the tears I could n pain n trying to make it work because I just was afraid of letting him go!! In the end it got to a point where I would do anything to make the pain dissappear even for a little bit! I started to look in the mirror and realize the once alwayz smiling n laughing 16 yr old I use to be wasn't around!! And then I started saying " I'm tired of trying to make things work if there is nothing left to work out"!! Slowly I started recovering with the help of my friends and a couple of things to mtake my mind off of what I was going through!!! In the beginning process I would cry and then wipe the tearz and just bury the pain inside! After a while I realized that swallowing all the pain and hiding it wasn't a good idea. Because there's only so much u can take before u blow. And I am not going to lie I would break down once in a while when I was alone in my room and the memories would just attack me!! I mean sometimes I could catch myself sitting by the phone for hours just to make sure if he called to say he wanted to try again I would be there to answer it. I ended up realizing that wasn't good either!! lol =) Once i finally realized that he wasnt ever coming back thats when it hit me that i wasted all that time being sad n depressed when there were guyz liking me that really wanted to makeme happy!! And recently when I finally wasn't afraid to move on from the past, the boy who had been there since day 1 left to his hometown! We shared a couple of momentz with each other but not enough because I wasted my time on something that was never going to happen. So I guess what I'm trying to say is even though you think u cant love or like o whatever jus try it anyway because u never kno when u could b happier than b4 until that person is gone n u sit there n have 2 start all over again!! So dnt b afraid to take risks!!!!

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