I walk down the street in this bitter world and feel as though I am alone in this life,
I glance from side to side and see people hide there faces from me as they giggle and laugh some of them point, some draw there children in near to them out of my way as I walk past them I walk with my head held in my hands Trying to hide from there stare As they laugh, point and jeer at me There words strike me like sticks, and there voices hurt me like stone
However...people still walk into me, they walk right past me some even walk right through me, cant they see me, do I even exist???
I shout out loud, at the top of my volume at them but they seem to be deaf to my shouts, they do not seem to hear me either that or they choose not to hear my cry And with that I feel your darkness rise up around me its dark blanket suffocating me as I try and stand Against your will
Why me, why me
You come at me again and try to tempt me over and over from with inside this bottle, promising me a clearer vision to this messed up torture you call life, I laugh at your vision but you trick me over and over again I cannot help myself as you draw me into this torture I try to resist you, but your grip is to strong...It overcomes me As I plunge into the depths of the madness I begin to drown in your grip
I try and push you away with all my might with all my strength but its to late your blood is already on my lips And I am to weak to resist .
My resolve crumbles and I drink on your blood eagerly as you look down at me and grin, you hold me tenderly to your breast, I gulp down your wine as you welcome me into your arms .offering me the solace that I so crave from within this forgotten life This twisted world This damned existence
Why me, why me .
There is a flash of light
I stand on the edge of the cliff of life I have been here before many times it looks so familiar, what have I done this time I hear my mother crying my name, hearing this cry it brings tears to my eyes I start to shudder and shake, I begin to lose control in a battle I cannot afford to fail in "Come back to me my son I, forgive you" I hear her cry but I am to far gone What is it?? What have I done?? But I do not know myself I am lost I cannot hear her scream .But I can still hear her call my name, alas its to late I am a memory to her I feel my lifes blood starts to flow
I have taken my own life, I am slain, I am down, I am defeated, and I am broken
I am dragged before you by your minions, how dare I do this you below, how dare I abuse the gift given to me of life you scream ..
I am held before you, bleeding, helpless dying
However I find life in this darkness I do find strength My broken bleeding body starts to twitch before you
I take my chance, and I run towards you, my guns blazing, each bullet a question seeking its own answer for which I know there is none I dodge your attack but you turn your back on me, as though I do not exist .Be gone with you, you shout..I am on my own Again falling falling The floor gives way beneath me
I am alone I am home again
All I see now is darkness ..and the haunting shadows of the world you call life
As I tumble headlong down into this swirling abyss, they come for me again, the dark shadowy shapes surround me that you send, I can here there song, they scream out for me as they reach there chorus, I know this is the end, but cannot fight no more, even when they start to claw and tear at my flesh, searching for my soul that grants me my life blood, I smile and shout in rejoice and fling my arms out wide, welcoming there cold death like touch
As there song gets louder sensing death, I smile and shout out loud as there icy hands enter my body, they tug and claw at me ripping my soul from its shattered frame
Why me why me .
Why let me experience the joy of love and so cruelly take it away..Again and again,
Why plunge your fist into my chest and rip out my heart that is still pumping the blood of my loved one,
Why do you laugh hysterically as my life love flows from my severed arteries and covers the ground in a blood red carpet of feelings that no one seems to give a damn about
I still struggle in your grasp but my limbs snap with the force of the demons you send after me, there laughter increases in volume as I sense I am near my fate There song reaches a volume I cannot stand, I cover my ears I breathe my last
My body is broken and busted; I dont have the strength to hold you off any more, I cannot resist you
Come kill me then, stamp all over my crippled body, come crush the remaining life force from within my soul as I do not care anymore I just dont care .Do with me what you will I give myself to you or do I
I am alone now, like I have always been These four walls glaring down at me, suffocating me never letting me escape, robbing me of my will to fight, I turn quickly and catch them staring at me, there bitter twisted faces frozen in an icy grimace, but I am to far gone, my life force is spent my once warm blood decorates the floor .
Again I here your laughter out loud what have I done to deserve this life I cry did I ask to be put here did I ask for this miserable existence???
All I hear is there song in a mocking reprise of what was once life but that now is forgotten, Discarded left to rot
I lie there in front of you, my limbs scattered bleeding dying forgotten begging your forgiveness or so you think, or so you are led to believe but alas there is a twisted smile on my face, I bring to you defiance to the last my lord, my master, my creator with my last breath I curse you for granting me this existence you call life, and I now hold my breath for eternity for when I come to meet you, to battle with you on your own plane, in your own existence, within your own time for there shall be only one victor .but that will be another story my lord
Victory will be mine I swear it
For now I shall rest
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.