Letting Go

You tried to hold my hand as I walked away,
though it really didn't matter;....My physical self was simply trying to reunite with the emotional being that had long made its transference to a distant place but you hadn’t noticed the absence of self when you glared into my face,
I was already gone.

You spoke ever so gently those hallow words,
"Please stay" It lacked the substance to even fill the starving void that harbored a grief stricken malnourished heart. Like vinegar to parched lips my very soul was tainted by the profuse bitterness that lurked in the undertone of seeming sincerity,
You were no longer audible.

You see ; Like a whispered tale of woeful love my journey began swift, Swift to love, Swift to fall an unattainable ideal that reached beyond the boundaries of reality for most; so fragile, so surreal some call it a ghost ...Long gone with days of old this thing. this thing called love,
And like selling my soul, I died.

The music played and I knew my cue, just decided to take the chance; accustomed to a regular table top I’d never performed a real lap dance, too much drinks too much "X" the air was raunchy and smelled of sex.....Pimped, I fell a victim to the system.....Dollar dollar bill ya’ll!!

But on a serious note I had long foreseen the insurgent riptide that lied ahead, Reliance on skill and tact made me feel as if I could handle this sh*#!!... Bring it on!!, Cause I'm Strong!! ....Cause I'm... wrong?

Now I accept the shame of my defeat you broke me down to a place lower than I had ever fathomed could be trenched, to the very core and now as I lay ,drowning in the contents of my soul's eruption ............I realize its' cathartic
But I'm not grateful as much as I'm hateful but for what its worth:
Thanks...................For nothing and yet I can see clearer now what must be done

You tried to hold my hand as I walked away,
I was never really there.

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