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I love you my dear...
I try hard not to shed a tear...
The lapse in between memories of you are spreading...and I’m
learning that its o.k.
Your laughter, or your smile, or a silly comment, still crosses
my mind at least once a day
At least for a brief moment, its quite pleasant, really
The extremely, tormenting darkness that surrounded my
reflections of you has faded...
and I am very greatful to find your presence now in the most
precious things of life
Nature especially, almost always adoring a butterfly,
or a bird flying in the sky, or a bad ass sunset
I try to move my feet as often to the beat as much as possible,
and find singen to my baby’s is so valuable
For these are all of the things that we shared many times
before...
You begged me to sing to you
and you rehearsed your moves for me all day long
We would jump like children when we found a four leaf
clover!!
We dwelled on responsibilities of getting older...
We would make fun of people who thought different then us...
and we cried for people who couldn’t grasp our thoughts
and accept them as their own...
of course I regret so much
I wish to not do so with another
You had no idea how dear you were to me,
how much you influenced me, helped hold my beliefs in who I
wanted to be
You always made me promise to never change...
We admired the fact that we were strange
To the niandrathaws and hipacrates that surrounded us
But of course we succumb to that course as well...
For I accepted the fact that your actions were as rapid as the
everyday junkies around us...
Earthbound was so hard for you to understand
You tried your hardest to appreciate, but to comprehend
reasoning for all of the pain and trechory demanded so much
of you
Since early childhood you interpritated things so harshly, not to
blame
your innocent moments were rationally shifted in the lose of
your mother so soon...
Your darkest hours I tried to be everything you needed as well
as I could
I tried to give you reasoning, I tried to shed you light
I hoped to give you strength to fight...
Sometimes fighting to do so, until you would stop begging me
for answers
and beg me to sing again, cause then I new things were better
You could never hide the despair inside
When you where covered in your tunnel, you would mostly
reach out to anyone who would listen...
and certainly not try to influence them in your usual manner
Because what you shared with me, you tried to spread your
infectious joy and queries to everyone
You had so many questions, and asked many whom could not
find the reasoning,
but they were left wondering why as well...
But the loss of answers to the pain you held was much to
overwhelming to bear,
but I always new...you always shared...you could never hide
it....until that day
I’ll miss you the rest of my stay...
I love you my dear...
I try hard not to shed a tear...