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Alcohol is the worst, it is my vice. Whenever I feel insecure, I open my Bud Light. It takes me to a place where I am brave and carefree. Takes me to a place where I think he will like me.
Using alcohol is what I do, trying to tell people things I wish they knew. To scared to admit it with my eyes not red, too afraid of rejection with no beer in my hand. Afraid to open up when I am sober as can be, but with my alcohol, I tell the world who I really want to be.

Chasing after something with my beer in tow, thinking it is okay to say what I really know, running after something that was never really mine, holding onto memories that were long ago vanished in time. Drinking in the night, it carried me through, helping me out with talking to you. I take a drink to make you think that my words are not true, just because you doubt me, if only you really knew, when I wake up sober, I still feel those things for you. But sober you see me for who I really am, a lost little girl in her own crazy land. Feelings so amazing, its too good to be true, so who would believe me if I said them to you. Alcohol shields me and it takes away, the pain of knowing that sober, we wouldn't have talked that day. I see you when I am drinking and it occurs to me, I can be that girl that I think you need me to be. See if I was sober, it wouldn't be that way, I would constantly worry that you didn't care what I had to say. Alcohol gives me the confidence to grab your hand, but it gives me blinders to not see, just how hard you were trying to leave.

Crazy it seems, maybe its all true, if I couldn't be myself sober, what good was I to you?

No more alcohol, no more fears, no more trying to pretend I am wiser than my years.

Respect will come when proof is near, innocence is regained once you admit your fears. Apologies are accepted, and feelings will be known, bad choices and decisions will be in the past, for without alcohol, my new life is a blast.