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BIO
On Nov. 21,2002, six days befor my28 birthday,my six month old daughter Starla was murdered by her babysiter. Poetry helps me cope and lets her live on. This was a conversation I had with God.


My gracious, heavenly,father, I kneel before you today. With one heavy hearted question.
Why did you have to take her away?
With all the angels you have up there,that sit by your side and dine.
Why on your great earth Lord, did you have to come take mine?
I do not mean to question, or dought the things you do.I know in my heart Lord, she's better off up in Heaven, with you.
I'm not mad that you took her, it's just the way you did. She didn't need that pain and violence,Lord, she was just a kid.
I pray she wasn't alone that day, when her time on earth was through.
I like to think that you took her up, and that she never knew.
Because Lord, I can't imagine, a child in that much pain.
I really hope you took her first, and that she never felt the strain.
Those images haunt my mind Lord, everytime I try to sleep.
So I'm begging father help me, and I pray her soul you keep.
She's your precious angel now, so please God, help me cope.
Let me learn to understand, and never loose my hope.
I'm sure you had your reasons,even though I don't understand.
But please Lord help me with this pain, for I am just a man.
She was the closest that I've ever been, to ever being a Dad.
And the more I have to deal with loosing her, It really makes me sad.
For she was my peice of Heaven, and the reality hurts real bad.
I sit here and I wonder, is there something I've done wrong?
To make you change your mind Lord, and not leave her here that long.
If so I'm truely sorry. I beg you to forgive.
Please help me make it better, Lord, and teach me how to live.
All I've ever wanted, is a family of my own. But all I've managed to do, is loose every seed I've sewn.
My life is filled with demons, that never let me be.'
They come from all directions, Lord running straight for me.
You know the hand of life I was delt. Lord you hold all the cards.
My past, my present, my future, their all so very hard.
Am I not meant to free the memories, that are trapped inside my head?
Sometimes the hurt is so intense, I think I'd rather be dead.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. Really Lord, I'm not. You've blessed me more than I'll ever deserve. I'm thankful for all I've got.
It's just that it's more confusing, each and every year, as I wrestle my emotions, and fight my every fear.
Thank you Lord, for the honor to be, the one she knew, as Dad. I wouldn't trade those memories for anything, not for the good, or for the bad.
For without the one, there is no other, and even though I grieve.
I thank you Lord, with all my heart, for giving her to me.
Please tell her Daddy loves her. And keep her safe untill, I can be with her again.
If it's within your will .
AMEN