Search

I remember when I was in love with you
So much that when I heard your name my heart turned blue
I wonder if I exhaled the whole time we were together

I remember when I felt it was my fault that we could not be together
Loving you took a toll on my mental and physical being
I gave up everything to be with you
My family, friends, body, soul, and nearly my life

All I made was sacrifice and for you to make someone else your wife
I questioned everything about me
You never cared enough to call; all I know is you were never there at all
How many times did I look the other way when you said ‘boo boo sorry about yesterday'

When I heard your voice my whole inside would melt
But truly I barely knew how your body smelt
I cherished every time you spent the night
But you know I can count more times that you forgot

The stresses that I still endure
How sick my body feels; I let you make me so ill damn I am sick of taking these pills
I am too young to wither up and die
But only I know how much it took for me to get by
I shut myself off from the world when all along I should have been someone else's girl

Never love someone more than they love you; I fucked up the cardinal rule
But trust I made myself a thriving success
I can't let anyone hold me back
Hate me I won't contest
But I never forgot all the late nights I stayed up just to talk to you even if I had class at 8am
A paper due I did not contest, finals, midterms, it aint matter I never complained when you called at 12, 1, 2 or 3 knowing I had class
It now seems like you did not give a damn
What was wrong with talking during daylight but now I do not care hell

It hurt that you forgot me like I aint mean shit to you
But getting over you made my heart feel new
How hard it was to forget that you said we are on another level more than your girl
We been through too much I was your wife just wait until I was there with you
To forget how you never wanted to let me go

How dumb was I to believe all your lies
I know you loved me but you loved them more
Let's see how well they pick your girl
The best you ever seen and the greatest you ever touched

I let you touch me in a way no other man ever had
I remember when I thought that meant something to you but now you act like that doesn't matter
But when the smoke clears where are those niggas you are talking to now
When the dust cleared who was always there
Coughing and holding your hand
Let's see who will treat you like that as their man

I remember when I thought I hated you
But I wish you nothing but a great life
Don't let anyone stop your dreams

All the letters while you laughed
But all that shit is in my past
I don't need your love to live I live for me and how good it feels when I smile and I know that I am genuinely in love with me
It took sometime to realize that I didn't really need you
That the sun did not stop rising
That you were not the only ‘xy'
And somehow I realized you were not the one for me

You see I could not listen to music, shit I could barely let my heart beat
Who knew my first love would turn into my first heart break
But yet my outer appearance is without a scratch or scrape
I think your love blocked my carotid because my brain lacked oxygen did you know I thought my life was all gone
But it was just poor thinking all along

I laughed as all the other girls that cried freshman year at State
Because you would always be there I had found my true love my soul mate
But you just waited an extra year to fall asleep and get bored with our love
I remember when all I did was sleep I did not even eat
All the pains my body endured

Everyone wanted to keep us apart
So I guess they got what was in their heart
Or yours once whatever the case
It was ultimately for the best
A diamond lost is one never had
So I guess you should go back to the jeweler because someone else is eyeing yours
And hey I guess its going to the greatest bid of love

I remember when I was in love with you
But now their souls have successfully parted
And my live has been jumpstarted