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Writing has always been therapy for me
This letter is not only for you, but for forgiveness
Mama always told me to be careful
Just because you get a period doesn't mean you are safe
For three months she bled with me in her belly
I dreamed of you for years, but I didn't expect you this soon
My life has changed so drastically in the past few months
It wasn't that I didn't want you, It just wasn't possible
I refuse to bring you innocently into this world to go through the pain your mommy has been put through
You are and always will be my secret love
and through I couldn't experience the joy of my belly swelling as you grow, feeling you kick, pushing you out of my womb and holding you, smelling my sweet baby
I did this to save you
I ask you and most importantly God to forgive me
I'M Sorry
P.S. One day I hope to hold you in my arms when we meet in heaven