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You are my one and only
Oh yes, yes, you are
My one and only,
The only only that you are.
I wish that I weren't a stalker,
But alas that's really the reason why I am always an outside
your window-walker.
I know I'm thirty-eight and you're only thirteen,
But I really would make you my queen.
I'd send you love and flowers and candy,
Then slip you a little GHB.
I promise it won't hurt for long
Because I know you're really strong.
If only you'd give me a chance,
I'm sure I could get into your pants.

I love you more than life itself,
Because you remind me of an elf,
Since you're only five feet tall,
And your breasts are very small.
I'll stalk you until the end of time,
Or until you go down on me with a lime.
Or we could just each sniff a line.
I'm coming over tomorrow.