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Q: My husband has "adopted" a 22-year-old female. He refers to her as the daughter he never had. He pours most of his time and energy and a great deal of money into making everything wonderful for her. They even go on overnight long-distance trips together. He insists they are not romantic and I believe him. But the way he talks to her, treats her, and speaks of her seems much more like she's a girlfriend. He insists that as long as there is no sex, he is not doing anything wrong. But is it right? I feel emotionally cheated on. -- Kelly, 49

Dr. Susan: You feel cheated on because your husband is indeed cheating on you. All his emotions and energy are being given to this other female. Overnight trips with another female of any age over puberty? Why on earth are you not invited along on such trips if this young lady is just a friend, a pretend daughter? This is one of those instances where your gut is trying to tell you something important. Your husband MAY be kidding himself, but don't let him kid you. Something really odd is going on.