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Q: My wife and I are high-school sweethearts. I love her and still find her very sexy. However, we have never experienced another person's touch. Sometimes I wonder if it might be a good thing to try to spice things up by adding a third party. She seems open to the idea but we are leery of how we might feel after. Is there a way to introduce this without finding out too late that we made a mistake? -- Gregg, 36

Dr. Susan: Short answer: No. You can't easily include a third person into your marriage and just "try it out" to see how you feel. Perhaps, if both of you are willing to risk having made a mistake. . . . In my experience, open marriages have severe drawbacks. It's not like you're asking if a realistic blow-up doll be brought into your bed. It would be a real woman or man (are you equally open to the third party being a guy?). Then again, just because I know the power of jealousy and the poor track record of such experiments doesn't mean you shouldn't do more research. It's so hard to trust anyone at all, much less a total stranger who you would be using just to spice up your own relationship.