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Q: I just learned that my new lover of about a month was in prison for a long time, related to his drug addiction. He is clean now, and though I'm aware of his past drug use, he hasn't divulged the prison thing yet. We get along and have so many common interests that it is amazing! My sister said to run as fast as I can in the other direction. I am at a loss. I really do like him. What should I do? -- Cathy, 54

Dr. Susan: I worry that your lover has withheld some important information about his past from you. We might assume he hasn't mentioned his prison years because he doesn't want to scare you off. It's crucial that you don't get further entangled with him until he is totally honest with you. What was he actually in prison for? How long has he been clean and how does he intend to stay that way? What else in his past is he keeping secret? Your sister may be right, in the end, but you can't make a thoughtful decision about your future without having the facts. Tell your boyfriend what you found out and that you really want to know more about him and his past.