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Q: The younger man I'm dating tells me he loves me, but he always wants to hang out with his friends. I don't mind to a certain extent, I like them and they accept me as his girlfriend. They even come to me for advice and often tell him that I am the best thing to ever happen to him. But he confuses me sometimes with how he acts. One minute he wants to be all over me and then he doesn't. However, let another man show any interest and he's all over him about messing with his "woman." How do I get into his head and make him realize that I'm the one he wants and that he needs to be more consistent in his affections? -- Tammy, 47

Dr. Susan: Poor girl. Don't you know you can't get into someone's head, and you haven't a chance in the world of getting him to change very much? He's "all over you" when he feels like it, and when he doesn't, he isn't. He feels possessively toward you, and he claims to love you. But I see no signs that he's thinking about committing for keeps. Only you can decide how long you'll give him before you walk away. When a guy prefers hanging out with his friends to spending more alone time with his girlfriend, it's obvious that he finds the group interaction more stimulating than intimacy with one person. His needs are being met just as things are. If you're hoping for what you call consistency, you may have to look elsewhere.