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Dating Disasters

 
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Love, Lust, & Revenge
 
 
She Went Back to Her Ex
 
Q: I'm in a bit of a bind... I met a gal a few months back and we really seemed to click. About a week later, she had become bossy and demanding, really not remembering that I have other responsibilities. She had separated from her husband, but had been returning to her hometown and was seeing him. She assured me I had nothing to worry about. Since then, we had gotten together for a dinner and she was suddenly mad at me again. This time I got up and walked out. She came by my place a few days later saying that she was going back to her loveless marriage, only because she had nowhere else to go. She had quit her job here and taken another one there. She wants to continue talking with me but I feel used and worn down. We both still feel that "connection" but I don't want to be tangled up in some affair. What should I do? -- George, 38

Dr. Susan: Face it: you are tangled up in an affair. Cut the cord or take the consequences. The so-called connection you two feel is probably 90 per cent lust anyway. She left her husband but continued to see him. How odd. Did he know they were separated? She sounds like a rather volatile person, but then, so do you, since you're the one who walked out of that last dinner. She wants to see and talk to you while she's living with her husband. If that's not an affair, what is? And the fact that she quit her job near you and took one in her old hometown means the decision is out of your hands anyhow. If she's as bossy, demanding, inconsiderate, and two-timing as you describe her to be, you're much better off without her. You can "click" with any number of women. Keep looking for one who's unattached and honest!

 
 
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward. Read her complete bio!
 
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults. Read her complete bio!
 
NOTE: The information contained herein is provided for information purposes, and not intended as a substitute for advice or treatment that may or should be prescribed by your physician or recommended by your therapist.
 
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