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Q: I have been dating someone of my own age that I met through a professional dating service. It has been a year since we have been in a "committed" relationship. Recently, I have noticed her flirting (eye contact) with other men at events and at dinners that we attend. It is very noticeable and the other men notice her looking at them. When I ask her about this, she denies it and says she is not doing anything wrong. I'm unsure what this means and how to proceed with our relationship. Is it time for me to move on? -- Nate, 49

Dr. Susan: Giving her the benefit of the doubt for a moment, could it be that she has always looked at other men, but you're only now aware of it because some other aspect of your relationship is less satisfying? On the other hand, if the flirty eye behavior is truly new, and she denies it, I'd have to wonder what else she isn't being honest about. I also wonder if she's drinking more than before and perhaps isn't actually aware of the length of her eye contact. Whether she acknowledges the accuracy of your perceptions or not, she needs to be willing to take your feelings of discomfort into account. Before the next outing, let her know you're planning to point out the behavior to her as it's happening. I hope she takes your concerns seriously.