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Q: Last summer, when visiting family in another state, I dated one of my cousin's friends, Joe. Over semester break, I went back and dated him some more. He's the first guy I've dated consistently without wanting out, and I fell for him. When I left, we were keeping in touch but have since stopped. I planned on attending graduate school in his state, but I wasn't accepted. Economically speaking, it would be foolish for me to still move there, but emotionally, because of Joe, it's the place I belong right now. I'm torn over what I should do. I do realize, however, that he may not be around or even interested in pursuing something if I were to move out there. I just can't shake the feeling that I am going to miss out on having a wonderful guy in my life. --- Nancy

Dr. Susan: Nancy, you're attempting to make life decisions around a fantasy. I don't understand why you didn't keep in touch after you came back home. Before you make a huge decision like moving to a state to be near someone you're only briefly dated, you ought to reopen communications with him. How about taking a big leap and giving him a call? You may get a happy excited response, or he may blow you off or seem uneasy. If it's the former, you could consider taking the slightly more solid step of visiting him. But I wouldn't pull up stakes and base your future around the vague hope that he's as wonderful as you remember and that he's as interested in you as you'd like.