Search

Q: Every time I start dating a new girl, I start looking for flaws. No matter how great she seems at first, by the fourth date I hate her laugh, her job, her taste in music, you name it. Of course, things fizzle out after that. How do I shut up my inner critic long enough to get to know someone? - Trey, 27

Dr. Susan: It's not a bad idea to keep an eye out for what may be called "fatal flaws." No matter how enticing someone is, if she is a liar, talks way too much, shows no interest in you, is far more conservative than you like, or is too flirty with other guys, your future with her isn't going to be a good one. What concerns me is that you may be seeking excuses to get out of any kind of commitment. You would no doubt hear her laugh and learn about her job on the first date. And her taste in music? It may be a fatal flaw for you but it wouldn't be for a lot of other men. I suggest you look deeper inside yourself. Why do you keep asking girls out that you very quickly hate?